Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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