She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
