You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize