You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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