he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
