i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
