i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
