Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
