You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
