can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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