508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think my vagina is haunted
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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