glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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