That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
