Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
