this beer tastes like vomit already
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
