She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
