why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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