it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
