Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
