her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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