just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
