Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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