You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
