The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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