So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
