She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
