Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
