Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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