i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
