What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
