no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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