Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
