YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
