absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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