i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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