Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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