i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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