trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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