I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
