Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
