worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
