My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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