Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
