on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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