I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This show inspires me to have sex in space
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
