it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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