I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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