I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
