We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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