they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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